Dating with intention

Dating with intention

What is the meaning of dating with intention? Intentional dating refers to going into the dating scene with a better understanding of who, how, and why you want to date.

There is no previously agreed on time for millions of people to ask someone what their intentions of dating you are because everybody’s experience is unique.

Generally people who have serious intentions of dating someone state it up front so there’s not even a need for this question. This is a product of healthy communication. People who don’t have this intention of dating you are usually mute about it due to not wanting to lie and still be successful with whatever outcome they’re trying to have with you.

I learned this the hardest way. I’ve been really fortunate in that I’ve dated guys who valued me, but it wasn’t until I fell for someone that didn’t have any serious intentions that I learned what to value in a relationship. Here are some clear indicators that I personally chose to ignore despite knowing better.

1. Friendship: He will suggest you guys be friends. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong being friends during the early talking stage but if he really likes you, he will tell you his intentions. The friendship game is so interesting because they behave like you are guys are together ( the constant calls, texting and checking up on you) but when things start getting intense they fall back to that friendship zone and leave you hanging.

2. Auditioning: means seeking someone attention who doesn’t want you. What does this mean: it means you are always the one chatting him up, you are planning dates to hang out with him, you are calling him when he hasn’t call you and you are offering more than what he’s showing you. If you’re doing all mentioned above then you are auditioning for his intentions. Please remember a guy who has good intentions for you will be willing to take it further by making time to chat with you, plans to meet up and talk to you on the phone. Auditioning for someone attention is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Men are go getters and they will go for only what they want.

3. Mute : He doesn’t really open up to you. You are always the one asking questions about him with no reciprocation from him. If you are forcing him to open up, he isn’t that interested in you. A men who wants you will tell you everything about himself without you asking him to do it. He will take pride in you getting to know him.

4. Knowing his intentions: men are naturally givers. If he loves you, he will want you to be comfortable and happy. You are talking to a guy who hasn’t disclose his intentions about you but always asking you for assistance. My dear that’s a red flag and you should run for your life. If a man makes you feel appreciated, and cared for you and makes you his priority then he’s into you. If a man has good intentions for you, he will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you are happy. If you can’t rely on him, if you can’t trust him to be there for you when things are bad, then he isn’t for you and has no intention of being with you.

Assuming: If you’re confused about his intentions, that is the exact moment you should ask for clarification and if he comes back with a non answer than you have the ability to no longer participate in that situation until they can clearly state what their intentions are with you. if you continue with the relationship type of activities without him/her actually stating you’re in a relationship, then you can’t be mad at him/her for seeing other people because you never asked for clarification. Clarification is a healthy form of communication in the earlier talking stages of relationships.


Once you determine your relationship intentions, you may find out that dating feels easier and more engaging. Instead of just diving blindly into a relationship, you’ll have a better grasp on the direction you want to take and the criteria that meets your needs. I will suggest you ask him/her about their intentions regarding you so both of you aren’t wasting each other’s time.

Until next time, tell me what you think. Xoxo….